Maggie? MAY!

Now gather round me bonny boys, and listen to my plea
And when you've heard my sorry tale, I’m sure you’ll pity me:
For I was taken down on the streets of London Town
On the first day that I come home from the sea.

I was thrust upon the dole where I stood behind a Pole,
Just four pound ten a week that was my pay
But though ragged, poor and thin, I was very soon took in
By a harlot with the name of Maggie May.

Oh that dirty Maggie May, they have taken her away
And she'll never walk up Downing Street no more
With her 6-inch heels a-clickin' and her sights on tight spring chicken,
That dirty, robbin', no good Maggie May.

Now I well recall the day when I first met Maggie May
She was cruising up and down on Hampton Wick
She'd a face so cold and snow-like and a manner cruel and crow-like
But me, I'm just a Quitter, and I'm thick.

So she took me up to bed whereupon she sweetly said
That if I trusted her then she’d be mine,
Why with her so strong and stable, and me so young and able
Our future life together would be fine!

Oh that dirty Maggie May, they have taken her away
And she'll never walk down Downing Street no more
For she robbed me sweet and stealthy just to give it to the wealthy
That dirty, robbin', no good Maggie May.

In the morning when I woke, I was flat and stony broke
No jacket, kegs nor wallet could be found
When I asked her where they were, she said "You halfwit cur,
They're for the boat and halfway Brussels bound.”

Swift to Dover I did run but of my clothing found I none
So the voters come and took that girl away
And the judge he guilty found her, of robbing a homeward–bounder
And I think meself well lucky to this day.

Oh that dirty Maggie May, they have taken her away
And a curse upon her party evermore
Oh hearken to my story and never trust a Tory
Like that Dirty, Robbin’, No Good Maggie May.