Ten minutes listening to Chris de Burgh, then ...
“Good afternoon. How can I help?”
Me: “Good afternoon. I’d like to make my annual enquiry why my car insurance has gone up by nearly 20% and over £120.”
Her: “Well, the Government has put up Insurance Premium Tax by ...”
Me: “... 2.5%. I know. What about the other hundred quid of mine you're after?”
Her: “Average premiums across the insurance sector have gone up 16% this year. They’ve been paying out a lot of money.”
Me: “I can well imagine. But just now I’ll avoid asking why yours are even higher as that’s not really my point.”
Her: “So you’re not happy with the price?”
Me: “Let me think ... no, it says on this card that I suspect I may not be.”
Her: “Well Sir, you do have a healthy No-Claims Bonus so I may just be able to see if I can find you a better price.”
Me: “Look, nothing personal but we have this conversation every single year: the AA sends me a vastly inflated insurance price, I ring you up and spend half an hour on the phone and then you discount it back down to about what I paid last year. May I suggest that you give me your best price in the first place and then I don’t have to make this ritual phone-call? This would have the added bonus that I won’t think the AA is running a squalid little scam.”
Her: “I think you’ll find we’re not the only company who ...”
Me: “Then I apologise and stand corrected: a squalid BIG scam. Again: since there is clearly a better offer out there, why don’t you tell me in the first place?”
Her: “You have to ring us up first.”
Me: “Why?”
Her: “It’s company policy.”
Me: “It’s a SCAM! Your company well knows that a goodly number of customers will nod your inflated price through. It also knows that there are much better prices that it could have offered them. Again, nothing personal, but your company is trying to rip me off. If I thought that some of it would reach your wage-slip I might just let it past but the trouble is, I don't like people who are already rich getting even richer on account of it, see.”
Her: “Would you like me to see if there’s a better price?”
Me: “Not really, but since we’re already on the phone to each other, perhaps you would? Can I have some more Chris de Burgh while I wait please?”
After a while ...
Her: “I have managed to find a price of £xxx.xx.”
Me: “Goodness, allowing for the Government’s tax hike, that’s just a few quid higher than last year and a Saving Of Nearly A Hundred Pounds On the Price I Just Got Through The Post! Again. You AA guys really are AMAZING!”
Her: “Would you like me to renew at that price, Sir!”
Me: “Oh go on, twist my arm!”
Her: “Right you are, that’s all gone through.
Me: “Thank you! Begob, here’s me bus – must dash! Speak to you next year! I trust the kids is doing well and the mother’s little problem is all sorted?”
Her: “Yes, it’s all tickety-boo chez nous! So long!”
Me: “Hey, that rhymed! Cheery-bye!”
“Good afternoon. How can I help?”
Me: “Good afternoon. I’d like to make my annual enquiry why my car insurance has gone up by nearly 20% and over £120.”
Her: “Well, the Government has put up Insurance Premium Tax by ...”
Me: “... 2.5%. I know. What about the other hundred quid of mine you're after?”
Her: “Average premiums across the insurance sector have gone up 16% this year. They’ve been paying out a lot of money.”
Me: “I can well imagine. But just now I’ll avoid asking why yours are even higher as that’s not really my point.”
Her: “So you’re not happy with the price?”
Me: “Let me think ... no, it says on this card that I suspect I may not be.”
Her: “Well Sir, you do have a healthy No-Claims Bonus so I may just be able to see if I can find you a better price.”
Me: “Look, nothing personal but we have this conversation every single year: the AA sends me a vastly inflated insurance price, I ring you up and spend half an hour on the phone and then you discount it back down to about what I paid last year. May I suggest that you give me your best price in the first place and then I don’t have to make this ritual phone-call? This would have the added bonus that I won’t think the AA is running a squalid little scam.”
Her: “I think you’ll find we’re not the only company who ...”
Me: “Then I apologise and stand corrected: a squalid BIG scam. Again: since there is clearly a better offer out there, why don’t you tell me in the first place?”
Her: “You have to ring us up first.”
Me: “Why?”
Her: “It’s company policy.”
Me: “It’s a SCAM! Your company well knows that a goodly number of customers will nod your inflated price through. It also knows that there are much better prices that it could have offered them. Again, nothing personal, but your company is trying to rip me off. If I thought that some of it would reach your wage-slip I might just let it past but the trouble is, I don't like people who are already rich getting even richer on account of it, see.”
Her: “Would you like me to see if there’s a better price?”
Me: “Not really, but since we’re already on the phone to each other, perhaps you would? Can I have some more Chris de Burgh while I wait please?”
After a while ...
Her: “I have managed to find a price of £xxx.xx.”
Me: “Goodness, allowing for the Government’s tax hike, that’s just a few quid higher than last year and a Saving Of Nearly A Hundred Pounds On the Price I Just Got Through The Post! Again. You AA guys really are AMAZING!”
Her: “Would you like me to renew at that price, Sir!”
Me: “Oh go on, twist my arm!”
Her: “Right you are, that’s all gone through.
Me: “Thank you! Begob, here’s me bus – must dash! Speak to you next year! I trust the kids is doing well and the mother’s little problem is all sorted?”
Her: “Yes, it’s all tickety-boo chez nous! So long!”
Me: “Hey, that rhymed! Cheery-bye!”
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