The Examined Life, 7

Me: "Bonjour, mes petits champignons!"
Them: "Uh? 'E's tawkin' dat langwidge again innit." 
Me: Good morning all, and welcome to our penultimate class!"
Them: "'E's doin' it again ... woss pen ... pen ... penmultiplate ... pen ...?
Me: "Penultimate, Gorgon! And I was hoping YOU might tell ME!"
Gorgon looks at me as though I had asked him to disembowel himself in front of a whole-school assembly wearing nothing but a pair of ballet shoes while singing the Eton Boating Song.
Me: "Cabbidge?"
Cabbidge: "It's a ... it's a ... it's a ting, innit."
Me: "Penultimate, Cabbidge: 'the one before last'! After today there is just one lesson to go before I say farewell to you all."
After a couple of minutes the silence is broken by one or two inadequately stifled cheers.
Me: "I am sure that many of you will be delighted to see the back of me, and may I fraternally assure you that such sentiments are most warmly and fervently reciprocated."
Chlamydia: "Oh Sir, dassa first nice ting wot you've said to us all year. Why couldn't you of been so nice earlier like?"
LaShagga: "Sir, are you bipolar?"
Me: "Yes, LaShagga. Half the time I'm angry and the rest of the time I'm a bastard. But enough banter: today's end-of-year task is very simple. I would like you all to take a sheet of A3 paper and a selection of pens from the front of the class. Then, with due reference to the no-doubt copious notes in your exercise books, I require you to prepare a short visual presentation about one topic you have learnt about this year and that has stayed with you. As you will probably have forgotten, we have looked at Britain's Celtic origins, Saxon England, the Norman Conquest, William's consolidation of power, the feudal system, life on the land and in medieval towns, the Crusades, King John, Magna Carta and the origins of Parliament, food and hygiene, and the impact of the Black Death on the population and economy of Britain. To confirm: an A3 sheet presenting one thing that you have learnt this year and that you'll never forget. You have thirty minutes. Get on with it and if I hear as much as a sound then by Christ I shall Behaviour-Point the miscreant out of existence."