The Examined Life (1)

Me: “OK, so you’ve learnt a lot of things about Indian geography today and over the past few lessons, and you’ve all done really well. Now I’d like you to show me what you know. I want you to imagine that you’re at the end of a long holiday in India. Draw a giant postcard in your exercise books and write on it what you know about the country. So, for example, where you’ve been, what sights you’ve seen, the wildlife, the weather, the people and how they live, what they eat, what they wear, how they get around and so on. Write as much as you can and if you need help just put your hand up. Any questions?”

Pupil 1: “Who do we address it to, Sir?”

“Anyone you like: your family, your friends, even yourself if you want.”

Pupil 2: “Why would I address it to myself?”

“Fair point! Someone else, then.”

Pupil 1: “So my parents?”

“Yes, why not.”

Pupil 3: “Can I address it to my Granny?”

“Yes. Anyone you like!”

Pupil 3: “I don’t know her address.”
“Your parents, then. Right, everyone, let's get going!”

Pupil 1: “Does it have to be our parents?”

“NO. Now please get on with it.”

Pupil 4: “Do we have to put a stamp on it?”

“You can DRAW a stamp if you want, but can I just emphasise to everyone that the point of this task is to show what you’ve learnt about India: the postcard is just an idea to make it more interesting.”

Pupil 5: “So can we just write it without drawing the postcard, Sir?”

“Yes.”

Pupil 4: “Do we draw an English stamp or an Indian stamp?”

“Well, since you are supposed to be in India, an Indian one, I should imagine.”

Pupil: 4: “But I don’t know what an Indian stamp looks like.”

“Then just draw a little square with a ... with an elephant on it or something. RIGHT, CAN I HAVE THE WHOLE CLASS’S ATTENTION FOR JUST A MOMENT? DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE DESIGN OF THE POSTCARD OR THE STAMP OR THE ADDRESS YOU ARE GOING TO BE SENDING IT TO. THE REASON WE ARE DRAWING A POSTCARD IS SO THAT YOU CAN SHOW WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT INDIA FROM THE LESSONS YOU HAVE HAD. IT IS NOT, REPEAT NOT, TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. IS THAT CLEAR?”

The Class: “Yes Sir.”

Pupil 6: “Like this, Sir?”

“Yes, that’s a beautiful postcard, really nice, but you don’t need to colour it in. YOU JUST NEED TO WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT INDIA. NO, THAT’S THE ADDRESS SIDE: WRITE ON THE LEFT!”

Pupil 7: “Who do I send it to?”

“Old Mother Hubbard who lives in the Cupboard.”

Pupil 2: “I thought you said it was supposed to be addressed to our parents.”

“I DON’T CARE WHO IT’S ADDRESSED TO! OLD MOTHER HUBBARD, THE LITTLE OLD LADY WHO LIVES IN A SHOE, HENRY KISSINGER OR VINEGAR JOE STASSINOPOULOS: I JUST DON’T CARE. WHAT I DO CARE ABOUT IS THAT YOU GIVE SOME INDICATION THAT YOU HAVE A BASIC GRASP OF THE PHYSICAL AND HUMAN GEOGRAPHY OF THE INDIAN SUBCONTINENT AND I WILL KEEP THE WHOLE CLASS BEHIND UNTIL KINGDOM COME IF YOU ALL DO NOT DO SO. IS THAT CLEAR?"

Pupil 8: “Sir, he took my ruler.”